One final go-round for this record...

  For some reason, I am filled with angst today. Maybe its the fickle weather throwing me off or something. At any rate, something about today irks me to the core. And maybe its not just today specifically. Maybe its all the days leading up to this one, finally my pail is full and overflowing.  I cannot even begin to fathom why people find it a necessity to dumb themselves down, to feel the need to document every insignificance that occurs in their lives, and to try and be someone they shouldn't ever want to be. Every single person that walks this Earth should want to be so exuberantly authentic that it seeps out of their pores and spews from their mouth every time they move their tongue. Everybody wants to be that corner puzzle piece, the ones that is immediately sought after, the first pick of the litter. I'd like to be that odd shaped little shit that you aren't so sure where the hell I go, or if I am even in this puzzle at all. We are all extraordinary and capable of extraordinary things, but until we stop wasting our time waiting for our membership to the cool club, we can never grasp our true selves. I guess I'll let my buddy Jack finish this one out.
   "The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"
“Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.”

One final thought. Can you imagine a world where every single person lived up to their full potential? This place would be a sight to see.

-DD

He's nothing but a Jim Jones wannabe...

A bitter taste filled his mouth once he realized what had happened. Only two weeks time had passed, but in his eyes it felt like five years. What could have possessed him to make a decision so important in such a cavalier way? The fruitful friend trees he once sowed upon had quickly become barren and the mush in his mouth was nothing more than tasteless fuel to feed his need for acceptance. He was always the type of guy that turned into a chameleon as soon as an out of the ordinary individual graced his presence. Don't get me wrong, we all have interpersonal affairs that we exchange for wholeheartedness when something new and interesting presents itself, but his way of adapting another person's anatomic unobtainables was a mystery to us all. And yet, he continued his march down a path of worn-out dreams ripped at the seams. The grape kool-aid that continued to fill his cup was hastily becoming too poisonous to drink. A stench of a purge was in the air, but who would be there to intervene when his come-down hit rock bottom. His exterior was tough, and worn out, but the snakeskin he donned was finally starting to shed, leaving him fragile, fresh, and capable of being cut open at any particular moment. Who could save his soul from the kitsch calamity it was becoming?

...stay tuned

-DD

Unabridged Introspection

Whispers from the winter wind chill my skin as I make my walk towards the beginning's end. Life has just started to stir for me, and every time I wipe my sleep deprived eyes there's a new image that keeps me alive. Sunrises melt into sunsets, all the days get shorter, but me, effervescent. See, this is just the embarkment of what is to come, I can't pinpoint any plans, but rather keep my feet on the run. When the full moon rises I'll look to the sky, how will my dreams and my days ever coincide? A tumultuous treasure, these souls we keep, dying down slowly, fighting to breathe. As long as I'm here, I fear not a threat, nothing can shake me, no ostentatious regrets. I'll admit when I took off, this didn't start as a rhyme, but my mind, it kept stirring, and it brought me alive.

A Foundation for Freedom

Stand your ground. Don't back down. To hell with peace, set the world on fire. If you truly believe in something, there is no room for any sort of mediocrity or compromise. Keep telling yourself you are exceptional, and what you believe is great, or at least capable of being great.

 These are the words he spoke to himself every morning when he stared at his reflection in the mirror, searching his soul for a specific reason as to why he lived and endured this treacherous world that, for some reason, came so easy to so many others. Maybe his sufficient ability to see the truth when everyone else was blind was a curse. Maybe that is the reason he wakes up and gasps for air, realizing that until our selfish inhibitions are put to rest, that this world will never know what it is like to be authentic, to be genuine, to be dependable, to be legitimately original, trustworthy, or true. Indeed, he is not the only one out there to think this way, but the masses have been taken over by chameleons, changing every minute to blend in. Their lack of honesty and self-awareness makes him think a revolution is out of the question. But, one day, he will find a like soul, one that gets the struggle he doesn't need to solve, but yearns to settle, and in that moment, maybe just a tiny glimpse of the little hope left will bring a new life, not weary or worrisome, but abundant with beating hearts, pumping and pounding to understand the weight of the world.

-DD

Climactic Creatures

She wakes up
Oh this night
Well it's been so rough
On her
All a blur
But thats what happens when you grow up drunk
And she doesn't know where this road leads
As long as its not back down on those dirt-stained knees
Time and time again, as the new moon rises
Letting go of fear
A night for survival
Aspirations appear with new arrival
Oh this life she lives, it's becoming so viral

And he falls asleep
Ringing bitter dreams
Why can't this become, authenticity
No one knows, and it won't
That's the way the world goes
Growing up with such hope
But being left in the cold
Staggering and shivering
No face can he bear
A man with the plan
The mask that he wears
Trying to envision
A life without prison
Of thought
Of Wonder
Of Wisdom

We are whole, but only with the right pieces
Climactic creatures, it's the rage of the season




-DD

Shake the Dust

  All their trigger fingers were pointed my way. Maybe it was from my absence of sincerity and overall interest, but I don't feel the need to waste pleasantries on pompous pricks and people full of misguided principles. I don't need a specific person telling me how I should feel in any given situation. My old friend Henry David told me rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth, and I try to breath these words with every last breathe I take.
  I'll be meandering through the jungle, seeking out a soul that wants to live just like me. With truth, with sincere love, and with a mindset that what we do here truly echoes in eternity. Maybe I am too much of a wishful thinker, maybe I need a reality check, but as far as my eyes can see, the things I wish for aren't too much to fathom.
  I realize a changing of the guard is upon us, and things aren't how they used to be, with true friends seeking your attention, not everyone with a computer screen and a keyboard. I am challenging myself to not give in to our innate desire for constant approval, unless that approval is coming from me.
 These next few months are bringing me to the cusp of some radical decisions. I don't have it all figured out, but for as long as I live, I promise I will never stop seeking the truth. In the meantime, I'll be filling my time with a few things; writing a novel, writing a screenplay, meeting new people, reconnecting with old friends lost in time, opening my chest and marveling at all that is inside.

That which we are, we are, one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. -Tennyson

-DD

There is plenty to be done.

Sitting indian style on my living room floor, wondering what my heart will lead me to next. For some reason, the wondering isn't giving me the rush I need. I like the view from where I'm at right now. I like the security, the sound of being able to get up and do this everyday. If it were storybook scripted, it wouldn't grab my attention as much as it has. So for now, I am happily content with sitting indian style on my living room floor, waiting for you to see what I see. Maybe not in the same light, but most definitely with the same heart.

The things that poets write about, the thing that singers sing about, the thing that babies cry for, the thing that jesus died for.

-DD

I might always be a vanilla type of guy

The cab ride with Jenny was especially mundane this morning after the exacerbating events that took place last night. Finding out something I always thought was true wasn't quite as satisfying as I dreamt. But, it is so, and as I stare quietly at the back of our drivers head, waiting to place my feet upon the curb at terminal G, I can't help but notice a face in my mind. A neurotic cynic tailored in 3000 dollar suits, but empty inside, with dark rimmed glasses and a sly smile. He's a journeyman, going from place to place, trying to find his niche, looking for someone that looks at the stars and skies and everything in between like he does. This was not the place for me. Jenny had the big-eyes, most likely to make up for her lack of heart, and once I stepped onto the concrete I realized my heart was still with you. The simple times spinning out of control, leaving our mark on everything like we said we would, those were in the foreground as I said goodbye to the city that made me a mad man.

This Columbo, he pretends to be stupid, but really, he is smart, as a tack.

A lot on my mind the past few days. It is interesting to watch people turn into someone or something so far away from what they are capable of, shading their potential in order to make themselves into a cookie-cutter. I am going to stop saying I'm sorry. People really don't care if you are sorry or not, they just want someone looking at them. It's funny when you can see into someone, and realize all that is inside is just waiting to be broken out. I want to tear myself down, bring out the good and bad, and turn it into a person capable of great things, even if everything I do is not deemed normal by our society. If there was ever a day to start living up to potential, I'd say today would be a good day to start.
  Let's set the record straight right now, because people, myself included, try so hard to act like they don't really care when in actuality every time someone "forgets to call" or "falls asleep" it takes it out of me, knowing I was not even worth a five second phone call. Rather than love, than faith, than fame, than fairness, give me truth. At least at that point I can stop wasting my time and more important, obviously, yours.

If only for a second, this makes you look inside yourself, I have done what I set out to accomplish. Too much looking at others, not enough looking at ourselves.

I'd like to talk to you, right now, about anything and everything. Progress toward a place where I can be myself always has me sleeping well.

-DD

I was a hide and seek champ until now...

It's been quite some time.

With that being said, it is remarkable to me the immensity of change that can occur in only a few short years. Intensity lost, intensity found. Hope lost, Love found. Dreams awoken from a comatose slumber, and brought back into the foreground. It's about time to start living with some fuckin' passion. Too much lately I have been complacent, not worthy of the things I was blessed with. It all starts with assessing yourself, looking at your heart, and trying to figure out what it beats for. That thing that gives it life. My intentions have not always been in an honest fashion, but I am getting better. At a certain point, after being taken advantage of for so long, you begin to be bitter at the world, and the people in it. I realized though, that cynicism will only leave me emptier. I want my chest to pound when I get worked up after seeing something genuine and heartfelt rather than look for the worst intentions.
  There are very few I can open up to, my capacity to share is low because I don't like to be vulnerable. I can't wait for the day I find that person that cuts me wide open, and loves my heart with all of its bumps and bruises. For now, though, I'm just going to keep rolling full steam ahead into the infinite abyss, eager to sprout into myself.

I wish you could see me now, I wish I could show you how, I'm not who I was.


-DD