Today is my favorite day.

An overwhelming abundance of panic filled my chest as I walked briskly toward my most recent job interview. All the self-doubt, indecisiveness, and general lack of interest that had plagued me for so long had started to resurface itself back into my life. My mind was evaluating my goals and dreams as I pressed pavement onward. I worked so hard to justify me being where I am, I didn't want a little uneasiness to divert me from being successful. But then it hit me. I was miserable where I was at. The tie wearing, brain wracking, it was all a joke. These people around me, they were nothing. I was nothing. And if I got this job, I would continue to be nothing. We are all so caught up trying to be important and wealthy that we lose sight of our hearts. The most influential thing I was ever told was follow your heart. And damnit if I'm going to let some three hundred dollar shoe wearin' fuck tell me how to dress, when to get up, what to eat for breakfast, and how many creamers to drop into my coffee. People will tell me 'that's just the generation X coming out of you, lazy, good-for-nothing,  with your loose morals and unfulfilled dreams.'  Be it as it may, this whole life deal doesn't have to be cut and dry. Maybe I want to paint some days, finding solace in a sunrise. Maybe I want to travel, experience another world and all of the variances of life. Sometimes I might want to get dirty and work till my hands blister and my feet begin to bark. Or just delve into my soul and search my spirit for some truth. Maybe some days I just want to write. Write poems. Write prose. Write things so off the wall that even the sky can't comprehend what I'm trying to put down. Maybe I want to write about me and you, and all our nuances and idiosyncrasies  I could write about people I haven't even met yet. It's all too easy to turn into a matter of fact, a soldier in the trenches fighting his way to the top of the decaying pyramid which is his life. Instead, today, I am going to write.


And maybe the next day too.


-DD