Visiting Hours

I awoke the next morning with a stiff neck and nausea. I wasn't sure if it was caused by the smell of sterility in the air or the news I received last night, but nonetheless I needed to escape. I walked down the hallway and out into the sunlight. The feeling of the brisk February air filling my lungs brought me back to life. Well, that, and Officer Jenkins standing next to his cruiser puffing down his Class A cigarette. This wasn't a dream. What was happening around me was very real. Sirens, gurneys, and blood escaping an elderly man's carotid artery. I guess this was my proverbial awakening. For someone who has been so akin to hitting the pavement and sprinting at the first sign of things getting too real, I vowed right then and there to let this one play out. Just as I aligned my thoughts, Officer Jenkins tipped his cap to me, so I strided off my perch and towards him. He was stomping out a smoke and popping in a Tums simultaneously as I reached him.
  "You thought anymore about last night son?" he said with a mouthful of saliva, from what I assumed was a side effect of him taking antacids like they are going out of style.

  "To be frank Officer, I don't think it has hit me yet."

  "Just call me Jenks from now on. You aren't under arrest after all."

  "Alright Jenks, what's the status quo now?"

  "Well, I guess my next question is, do you wanna see her?"

 I didn't quite know how to answer Jenks. He was used to these types of situations. Helping people through tough times and all that jazz. The most difficult thing I can account for is when my dog Jem died when I was 11. And to make matters worse, I didn't really even know this woman. I had this vision of who she was in my mind, but who's to know if she would even want me in the room? From what I can recollect from Jenks, Jenny had been through so much already in life. And I'm just this guy she had a study date with. A first study date. But since my name was in her planner, this is where I found myself. Standing outside Mass Gen, wondering where I'd be if none of this would have happened.
  "Son, she's looking for something. I don't know if it's a familiar face or a friend, but the way she looked up when I spoke your name, I think it might be you."

   I thought again for a second, looked back at Jenks and then spoke.
   "Can I bum one of those cigs?"


To be continued...

-DD

This is just the beginning?

  I've always had a history of disappearing when life got too real. I made sure as soon as something started to tug at my senses I kept it distant and slowly bounded away, safe and sound within myself. That was until I met Jenny my junior year of college. I was sitting in one of my many lectures fall semester and as casually as the sun rises, she sat down next to me. I felt a rush of initial lust engulf me at first, but by the time she spoke, my heart was hers. Such effortless elegance in the way she articulated her thoughts. She had a cavalier attitude that would make you think she'd rub people the wrong way, but nevertheless she was adored by all those that crossed her path, including me. It took me till finals week to finally muster up the manhood to say anything to her. Two agonizing months of me twiddling my thumbs and acting like a sorority girl before I finally opened my mouth.
  "Hey Jenny, you think we might be able to work on this together? I am a little lost on the last chapter," I sputtered out like a prepubescent schoolboy.
  "Sure, Tom. I'll meet you in the library around 6:30. You bring the coffee."
  Tom. That was my name? I had almost forgotten what it was, but the moment she said it, well, she brought new life to it. I anxiously awaited the time to come to meet up with Jenny. I stood in front of the mirror, practicing some lines like I was studying a Shakespeare sonnet, all the while watching time tick at a snail's pace. I decided to take a quick nap. After all, I told myself, I needed all my wits about me to even have a shot at wooing this one. There was a heavy knock on my door that awoke me at 7:56. I remember the time so vividly because what came after changed who I was forever.
  "I'm looking for a Tom Wilshire," a burly police officer said as I wiped sleep from my eyes.
  "Yes, I'm Tom."
  "Son, I think it's best if you sit down."


To be continued...

-DD

 

A Recipe for Redemption

It's interesting listening to others people's beliefs. Everyone has their own tailor-made idea of how it all works, or at least they sometimes think they do. One of my beliefs is to not let your mind escape and be molded by the mongering masses. Throughout my life, I have gone from one extreme to the other. Belief, lack thereof, belief. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. We all have two people inside of us. A head and a heart. And while its great when they work together, sometimes it's not so simple.
 The life I've lived is nothing out of a storybook. I don't have any deep traumas to report or ongoing psychological issues spicing things up. Simplicity. My parents never split up. We never lived in a car filled with our belongings. There was never a lack of food on the table or broken glass on the floor, and for that, I feel incredibly fortunate. But all those aside, the one thing I am so grateful to experience growing up was that of Love. My parents showered my siblings and I in it, and they continue to show us every day what it looks like.
 You might be wondering where this whole thing is going. 'He started on belief and now is talking about love'. But you see, they are one in the same. In the book of Dylan, it says to love. To love and to be loved is one of the most indescribable feelings one can experience. It's to feel someone's pain through the hardships, and to be overcome with joy during the good. It's being kind and thoughtful with no need for reciprocation. It's thinking twice before you speak. It is being as carefree as a child on a swing set, feeling the air rush through them as they pump their legs back and forth. No matter how short of a stick life gives you, my greatest belief is that love is there, and no one should give up on it. So go on. Love with reckless abandon. Love those deemed no good. Love the young and the old. Love the past and the future.
  So don't go through your life wracking your brain to come up with all the answers, because it is an impossibility to put your finger on everything. When it all boils down, and the final turn of the clock comes, just remember the love you gave, because that is the love you will receive. In the simplest terms, that's what I believe, that God is Love, and it is the greatest of all.

-DD